Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day blah

Today I am venting.  I did have some sugar today.  I ate lunch at work which was a meatball sub (sugar in the bread and sauce.) It was good!  I also had an ice cream sandwich. 
I don't feel very motivated to be completely sugar free.  I don't have anyone doing it with me so I'm not accountable to anyone but this blog and I'm not sure anyone reads it anymore.  The novelty of having a blog has worn off I guess.  I need to figure out how to load photos and spice my page up a bit, then maybe I'll be more motivated.  I have been reading all kinds of healthy eating information lately and it seems like nothing is good for you anymore.  I know this is an exaggeration but it seems hopeless at times.  My latest frustration is lack of money.  It's hard to eat healthy without extra money.  It seems very unfair that the only people that can eat completely healthy, clean, organic etc. are people with lots of money to spend on good food.  Our society is so unhealthy but healthy is such an unrealistic goal for most people.  I do try to buy as much organic as I can (potatoes always, milk almost always, fruit and veg. sometimes...)  I'm now reading that wheat may not be so good for you.  What am I supposed to do with that information?  I bake!  I bake ALL the time, muffins, cake, bread.....  Grrrrr!  I have decided that all we can do is the best we can do and trust that our Maker and Creator is able to do great things despite our humanity! 
Today I foolishly allowed that little voice of doubt whisper in my ear "you're not good enough".  I wasted the better part of the day being upset about it instead of giving it to God to handle.  I suppose I still haven't completely given it to Him if I'm venting about it now.  I often feel this way and lately esp. with the no sugar thing.  I find myself feeling so unable to catch up with the things of life that I just give up trying regarding food.  It's just easier to eat whatever I can get my hands on than to eat mindfully.  I so desperately want to regain some semblance of control that I sabotage my efforts to eat healthier by "controlling" my food by losing control of what I'm eating.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but I know what I mean :)

I think my best bet right now is to pray!  Here's to a better day tomorrow!

2 comments:

  1. I'm still reading it!! And I'm so encouraged to see how well you are doing. If you look back to before you started, the improvements are just too great to not be proud of yourself!! Try to keep that in mind--you've come a long way in a short time. May God give you strength to keep going and to do it for His glory!

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  2. Thank you so much for your support!

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